ODE TO NEIGHBORING
Neighbors come in lots of flavors;
Lovers, haters, givers, takers.
Not to belabor, though no message greater,
Love all neighbors on God’s green acres.
The surest way to add more joy to your life is to add joy to others. “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves,” wrote Sir James Matthew Barrie, creator of “Peter Pan.”
“Neighboring,” one of “The Four Essential Rays of Joyful Aging,” is going beyond your borders of self-interest and recognizing the exquisite joy of serving others. Boxing great Muhammad Ali explained neighboring this way, “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.”
Over 2300 years ago, Aristotle wrote, “What is the essence of life? To serve others and to do good.” To which, late in her life, actress Audrey Hepburn added, “As you grow older, you will discover you have two hands—one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”
“It takes a village” is not just a buzzy phrase or the title of a best-selling book, it is a truism as is, “no man is an island.” We are all in this challenging though joy-possible life together.
“Others-centeredness” is a subject intensely researched by Dr. Ryan Byerly, Metaphysics and Philosophy professor at Sheffield University in the UK (Ryan Byerly interview at https://therapytips.org/ 12/28/21). An example Dr. Byerly uses to illustrate “others-centeredness” is choosing to give the last cupcake to a co-worker instead of keeping it for yourself. Even though you both would enjoy eating the treat, the joy you get from strengthening the interpersonal relationship by being generous outweighs the pleasure you believe you would receive from eating it yourself.
Caring for others while also caring for yourself is a recipe for creating more joy in the world. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve read the maxim, “Love yourself or no one is going to love you,” I’d give you half or at least some of those nickels. It’s not all about me—it’s sometimes about me, but most times it’s about you and me. The more palpable, exquisite joy is neighboring, others-love.
NEIGHBORING ODES FROM OTHERS
“Loving your neighbor is easy when he’s nice, or when she’s the same as you. But the rule is, ‘Love Thy Neighbor’…Even if he is different. Even if she is a bit mean. Even if they don’t believe in the same things you do…You don’t have to hang out with thy neighbor or agree with thy neighbor, just love them. Treat them with as much respect and acceptance as you’d like them to treat you.”—Doe Zantamata
“Love your neighbor as yourself and your country more than yourself.”—Thomas Jefferson
“Be the living expression of God’s kindness.”—Mother Teresa
“Fear God. Love your neighbor. And shoot ducks.”—Phil Robertson
“Love thy neighbor—and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.”—Mae West
“Love your neighbor as yourself but choose your neighborhood.”—Louise Beal
“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’”—Martin Luther King, Jr.
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”—Anne Frank
“What you must do is love your neighbor as yourself. There is no one who knows your many faults better than you! But you love yourself notwithstanding. And so, you must love your neighbor, no matter how many faults you see in him.”—Martin Buber
“The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say, ‘What are you going through?’”—Simone Weil
A NEIGHBORING INSPIRATION—COP STOP (Hoover,AL)
“Love Thy Neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater.” (The Holy Bible/Mark 12:31)
HOOVER COP STOP was literally the answer to a prayer. In 2016, when Brandi Gorman Guthrie, a young mother in Hoover, AL, heard of attacks on American law enforcement officers, she prayed for inspiration on how she and her neighbors could help. “It was like God told me to reach out to my neighborhood Facebook community and see if anyone would like to do something for our police department.”
Even in this second decade of the 21st century, Alabama is known for hospitality and according to Brandi, “Everyone mentioned dropping off food and collecting food gift cards.” I first heard about the grassroots, neighboring initiative, Hoover Cop Stop from my sister-in-law, Laurie Johnson, a wonderful cook who lives in Hoover’s Riverchase neighborhood. Before our family enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner (2021), Laurie and brother John’s son, Russell, and his young son, Will, delivered generous pans of Laurie’s scrumptious, homemade dressing to the Hoover Police station. Neighbors came together through Hoover Cop Stop to express thankfulness to their law enforcement officers and make certain all working during the holiday enjoyed a traditional Thanksgiving meal.
NEIGHBORS HELPING NEIGHBORS is how Hoover Cop Stop, a non-government initiative began and remains thriving in Hoover. It is neighbors cooking food regularly for their law enforcement officers, the dispatch team and officers at the jail. The COP STOP concept, begun in a Germantown, TN, by Joanna and Bob Young, is so beautifully loving and simple it harkens back to Bible times. I’m thinking here of loaves and fishes and hoping my own neighbors in North Alabama might like us to host a Cop Stop fish fry this spring to express gratitude to our law enforcement workers.
How about a Cop Stop chapter for your neighborhood? The Hoover group’s motto is “Serving the ones who serve us.” You can find more info at the Hoover Cop Stop Facebook page and contact super- neighboring volunteer, Brandi Gorman Guthrie, who graciously offers to help others connect to get started. You can also find the simple, rules and guidelines for Cop Stop chapters at http://cop-stop.org/.
OTHER INSPIRED NEIGHBORING INITIATIVES TO EXPLORE
- MODEST NEEDS—If you, as I, believe in helping people be self-reliant, check out the work at modestneeds.org; working people just above the poverty line are provided short-term financial help to avoid family catastrophes such as home eviction and hunger.
- PENCILS OF PROMISE—aims to assure all in the global neighborhood have access to quality education— https://pencilsofpromise.org/.
- SENIOR CITIZENS MUSIC BAND—for those with a beat who love to play music and would enjoy entertaining their neighbors there are many to inspire you on YouTube and Facebook.
- ALABAMA POSSIBLE—has been breaking down barriers to economic prosperity through advocacy, education and collaboration for 29 years— visit https://alabamapossible.org/.
- BOYS TOWN—this is a long-established neighboring group who stays in step with the times through innovations aimed at rehabilitation instead of incarceration for boys— visit https://www.boystown.org/Pages/default.aspx.
- ROOM TO READ—is a leading non-profit for children’s literacy and girls’ education.
- INTERFAITH MISSION SERVICES—Love Thy Jewish Neighbor, Love Thy Hindu Neighbor, Love Thy Muslim Neighbor, Love Thy Christian Neighbor, Love Thy Atheist Neighbor…a group in Huntsville, AL started this agency in 1969 during the “Hippie Era” and more than 50 years later, it still promotes “Peace & Love for All Y’all.”
NEIGHBORING DURING the COVID PANDEMIC is challenging but it can be especially joy-giving even with social distancing. Neighbors leave groceries on other neighbors’ porches, ring the doorbell and wave from the curb. Neighbors text from stores while doing errands to see if others need anything.
NextDoor is an app for neighboring. Members use it to purchase, sell, share and donate things, organize socially distanced events and stay digitally united. To create a NextDoor group for your neighborhood or join one that might already exist, go to https://nextdoor.com/.
Literary great, Mark Twain, an avid traveler, visited Hamburg, Germany during the 1881-1896 cholera pandemic. In his dispatches to American newspapers (Note: The Cullman Tribune was already publishing at this time) Twain lamented the treatment of the poor who were “snatched from their homes to the pest houses,” where “a good many of them…die unknown and are buried so.” At that time of aheightened worldwide health alarm, Mark Twain prescribed, “Good exercise for the heart: Reach out and help your neighbor.”
HERE ARE A FEW SMILE-MAKING JOKES ABOUT NEIGHBORS:
“My neighbors listen to awesome music…whether they like it or not.”
“Our neighbors got really annoyed at me after I played catch with their son, yesterday. But in all fairness, I couldn’t find a ball and the kid seemed to enjoy getting tossed back and forth.”
“If I’m reading their lips correctly, my neighbors are worried about some creepy guy next door.”
JOY-MAKERS CELEBRATING A BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK:
Jan. 29—Oprah, Jan. 30—Christian Bale, Jan. 31—Carol Channing, Feb. 1—Jason Isbell, Feb. 2—Ina Garten, Feb. 3—Norman Rockwell, Feb. 4—Alice Cooper (Vincent Damon Furnier)
A RECIPE TO SHARE WITH YOUR NEIGHBORS
This week, Joy & Gerontology begins sharing recipes saluting healthy food produced from each state in America (weekly/alphabetically). The delicious and nutritious recipe collection is called “The S.U.N.S. USA Longevity Cookbook” and highlights Vitamin B3 (niacin) which many research gerontologists believe holds the promise for a long, healthy, joyful life.
ALABAMA HOT NUTS
(Source: eatingwell.com)
INGREDIENTS
6 Tablespoons lime juice
6 Tablespoons chili powder
4 teaspoons Kosher salt (omit if you use salted peanuts)
4 teaspoons cayenne pepper
6 cups unsalted peanuts
DIRECTIONS
Step 1—Position racks in the upper and lower thirds of oven; preheat to 250 degrees F.
Step 2—Whisk lime juice, chili powder, salt and cayenne in a large bowl. Add peanuts; toss to coat. Divide between 2 large, rimmed baking sheets; spread in an even layer.
Step 3—Bake, stirring every 15 minutes, until dry, about 45 minutes. Let cool completely. Store this snacking treat in an airtight container.
1,070 JOY-GIVING THINGS from MY FIRST 70 YEARS (continued):
94. The Game of Life by Hasbro.
95. Polaroid instant photos.
96. The movie “Stand By Me.”
97. The game arcade at the mall.
98. Dagwood and Blondie
99. Dagwood sandwiches
100. Silly Putty
101. A little ditty about Jack and Diane.
102. Regis and Kathie Lee.
103. Mr. Drysdale.
104. That before she was a princess, Diana was a kindergarten teacher.
105. “Mary Frances Ding Dong School.”
106. A friend with a rumpus room.
107. “Let the wild rumpus begin!”
108. THE GIVING TREE.
109. Jawbreakers.
110. Magic 8-Ball.
111. Hula hoops.
112. Dancing the Hula wearing a grass skirt and coconut bra.
113. Slinky.
114. Pepe Le Peu.
115. Pre-GPS folded, road maps.
THANK YOU, NEIGHBORS! LET’S HAVE A JOYFUL, SMILE-MAKING FEBRUARY
