For individuals age 50 or older living in the United States, chances are one or both of their parents are still living. It’s not unusual to be called upon to care for these parents as they grow older. Unfortunately, this task often falls to just one sibling who may be female and working outside the home. But, what do the experts say should be done when caring for aging relatives?

Tips for Family Members

Look for signs that a parent or relative may need help. Signs include an untidy home, limited mobility, bruises on the body from falls, mounting late payment notices from creditors, unexplained dents in the car, or the inability to verbally complete thoughts or sentences. These signs may indicate the need for extra medical or home care. Or it may be time to place a loved one in an assisted living or nursing home facility.

Listen to a parent or relative. When caring for an aging relative, be sure to listen to their concerns. Listening helps to build a trusting relationship and creates a safe place for a loved one to voice their concerns.

Talk to family members. Most family members want to know about their loved ones, regardless of whether they take an active or inactive role in their care. Holidays or family gathering times are ideal to hold family discussions. Be sure to address urgent concerns first and try to come to a consensus on the best course of action to take. The key is to be realistic and fair to everyone involved, including your parent or relative.

Be honest about assigning tasks. Some family members have the skills or the right personality to deal with certain family members, situations, or tasks. Other family members may live closer or have greater financial means. Try to assign roles or tasks to every family member to ensure that everyone shares in the responsibilities.

Encourage older parents or relatives to complete important legal documents. A will, a power of attorney, and a health care proxy are ideal documents for them to complete while they are mentally able. While these documents may not resolve all business, legal, or family issues, they could reduce stress and family discord. These documents can also help to ensure that the wishes of your loved ones are properly carried out.

Tips for the Caregiver

Don’t be afraid or too proud to ask for help. Remember, aging is a common concern. More resources are available to help older adults transition smoothly in life. Try talking to a social worker or another professional who specializes in caring for older adults. Many older adults would like to stay at home and do as much as they can for themselves. If that is the case, their home may need renovation to make it handicap accessible, for example. Or you may have to hire someone to come in to provide care on a part-time or full-time basis. These changes are costly, so be sure to find out if private or public funding is available to offset these added costs.

Some states have programs that allow individuals to pay for caregivers, which includes family members. Visit the National Resource Center for Participant-Directed Services, local aging services, or Medicaid offices to determine what services are offered in Alabama.

Try to be patient and sensitive to your loved ones. Imagine how you would feel if you could not care for yourself or have trouble remembering things. If we are lucky, we will grow older one day and would want someone to be kind and patient with us as we age.

Use effective communication. Every caregiver needs to be an effective communicator. Good communication builds a trusting relationship between the care recipient and the caregiver. You may even be called upon to discuss their health and it’s important to listen to address concerns and alleviate fears.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself. You cannot care for anyone if your health fails, so be sure to eat right, exercise to relieve stress, and get the rest you need. If you are a full-time caregiver, then check your local community to see if there is a senior daycare center where you can take your parent or relative for a few hours while you take a break.

Caring for older relatives is no easy task, but you don’t have to do it alone. Today, there are many resources available that will help to ease the challenges associated with aging.

Visit Alabama Extension’s website for additional information for older adults.