COLUMN: Where are you from?
Chances are I am not from where you live, but I may have been there. I may have even lived there at one time...
COLUMN: Dumped
You remember your first girlfriend or boyfriend. The one that was going to last forever. The one that made you stop eating - which...
COLUMN: One to whom I owe so much
Who was the first person in this world I ever laid eyes on? Okay, yes, the very first one may have been the doctor...
COLUMN: A fresh coat of paint works wonders
She said, “What do you not do? You write, you sing, you play instruments and you even build instruments. Do you paint?”
I grinned and...
COLUMN: Breakup songs
Wait for a rainy, cold, black-and-white movie kind of afternoon. Have a box of tissues handy, then grab a pint of Ben and Jerry’s....
COLUMN: Cake-baking day is one of the best
I’m wondering if Saturdays have always been cake-baking day. That seemed to have been the case when I was a child, and now, many...
COLUMN: A biography with a different ending
I did not grow up in a family of readers. Oh, I don’t mean my family was illiterate. My parents could read; they simply...
COLUMN: ‘Hey Siri! Where are we?’
Here’s a friendly reminder to all of you travelers hitting the road this spring and summer: your GPS routing system is only as good...
COLUMN: The Olympics for older athletes
Editor’s note: This column was written last week.
I am a Baby Boomer. There, I said it, and I’m not ashamed of it. I was...
COLUMN: March madness wasn’t just basketball
Sports fans, especially college basketball fans, can tell you that March Madness is the nickname of the NCAA Championship Tournament. Basketball, however, is not...
COLUMN: We took a trip back in time
Jean and I just spent three days on a magnificent mountain that has, or is near, beautiful bluffs, gorgeous gorges, carved canyons, cavernous caves,...
COLUMN: 19 things boys need growing up
As I look back on the life I’ve lived, I seem to focus a lot on my childhood. I think most anyone does. As...
COLUMN: I hear that mailman coming
Well, I hear that mailman coming, he’s rolling around the bend, and I ain’t seen a letter, since 2010. That’s because the mail doesn’t...
COLUMN: I just can’t seem to remember
I think I may have surely come to that stage and age in life where I can’t…I can’t…well, now I can’t remember what I...
COLUMN: No shirt, no shoes, no filter!
I pulled a couple of boxes of photos down from my closet the other day. These photographs were mostly black and white relics made...
COLUMN: I’ll take a bottle of Coke, please
My first drinks of choice were either a Sun-Rise Orange, Nehi Grape or NuGrape. When I was a little older, my favorite became Coca-Cola....
COLUMN: A cake fit for a king
What is as sweet as sugar, purple, gold and green all over and has a baby inside? A king cake! A king cake is...
COLUMN: Honk if you lost a car
I own a red Chevrolet pick-up truck. When I bought it a few years ago, I decided that it would be a good idea...
COLUMN: The importance of reunions
How do you have a reunion with a group of people when you have never met most of them? You can do that when...
COLUMN: A holiday is simply 1 day
Editor’s note: Written prior to Valentine’s Day
You probably won’t get the day off from work, or school, on Valentine’s Day. You will be hard...
COLUMN: I have gone back to college
I am most thankful to have had the opportunity to get a college and seminary education. There was a time in my younger life...
COLUMN: A nice little snow-cation
Well, I said, “Let it snow,” and it did. Thankfully, this one was no blizzard, but it was deep enough to make some snow...
COLUMN: Grandma groupies
I heard a rumbling noise coming from the second floor of my house. Since we almost never go up there, I thought that one...
COLUMN: Going back where I’ve already been
The late Johnny Cash had a hit song back in 1996 in which he claimed to have been everywhere, man! He mentioned 92 cities...
COLUMN: Aunt Ginnie
The first time I went to their home was for a family Thanksgiving dinner. Actually, it was the midday meal, but down here we...
COLUMN: Drones fell on Alabama
These drone sightings over New Jersey remind me of a time years ago when mysterious lights were spotted over Birmingham, Alabama. I know because...
COLUMN: The real Christmas story
Once upon a time, long, long ago, there lived a young lady named Mary. Mary was engaged to be married to a man named...
COLUMN: The music of Christmas
Christmas is my favorite season of the year. Christmas music is one of things about the season that I love so much. I love...
COLUMN: I’m getting ornamental
By now, I’m sure most of you have your Christmas tree and home decorations up. Not me - I’m a world class procrastinator. Think...
COLUMN: Good dogs
“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.” Mark Twain
I read where author...
COLUMN: Thanksgiving is more than a holiday
The late gospel singer and writer Andre Crouch had a popular song back in the 70s titled, “To God Be the Glory.” The opening...
COLUMN: A sweet treat in the autumn South
I’m not exactly sure how he managed to live in this world this long, especially in the South, and never experience one of the...
COLUMN: What can I get for this?
I’ve noticed in recent years, even though I’ve paid for a motel/hotel room in advance, the check-in clerk always wants my credit card for...
COLUMN: Love locks over the river
Many rivers have locks, but not only the kind that lower or raise boats in its water. You may have seen them before, but...
COLUMN: I absolutely loved cologne
I began shaving when I was around 13. Why, you might ask? Not because I needed to, but because I wanted to.
I did have...
COLUMN: Fry me to the moon
I was born in the South. And I live in the South. That means I eat fried food – me and about everybody else...
COLUMN: A ride down the Rhine River
When I saw the handwriting on the wall, I knew we were no longer in Kansas; excuse me, I meant Alabama. As a matter...
COLUMN: Let’s get rolling
I was talking to a friend’s daughter at a high school football game. When I asked her if they had any special Homecoming activities...
COLUMN: Why did he say that?
People can say some strange things. Some of these statements are quite annoying, while others may be funny and enjoyable. Some of the things...
COLUMN: Boy on a hot tin roof
Mama had a mysterious situation. Her dried apples kept disappearing. Each day their number seemed to be less than it had been the day...
COLUMN: Cowboys and channel changers
I’m sitting in my favorite chair, TV remote in hand, shaking my head in disbelief. There’s nothing good to watch on television. Unless, of course,...
COLUMN: Arguments
One of the most memorable lines I ever heard in high school was delivered to my friend Randy when he got into a heated...
COLUMN: Nudity, noise and dangerous toys
I have been yelling like a…well, a grumpy grandfather. It’s embarrassing really – yelling for quiet. But it’s necessary when you have a houseful...
COLUMN: Tips for deer season prep from local hunter Nick Rice
October will be here before we know it, and we all know what that means, bow season opener. July is a great time to...
COLUMN: The old man’s watch
Since It was my fourth trip to the watch repair shop, I didn’t have high hopes. I’m sure the little Russian man who owned...
COLUMN: Fishin’ and cheatin’ – caught lead handed!
I just read an article about a man who was disqualified from a fishing tournament for cheating. Y’all, I think Jesus is coming soon....
COLUMN: Dear Coach Saban
Dear Coach Saban,
Since I wrote a letter to Kalen DeBoer a few weeks ago and gave him some pointers about the South, I thought...
COLUMN: The Great Escape
As I tend to the scratches and scrapes on my bare legs, I’m wondering if I should get a tetanus shot. I don’t think...
COLUMN: MiMi and the scooter of death
I should’ve known. I mean, I know a bad omen when I see one. Why didn’t I pay attention? On a recent trip to...
COLUMN: Cornbread 101
For whatever reason, I decided today was going to be the day. Without hesitation, I walked into the bedroom with purpose and called to...
COLUMN: Snakes hiss me off
It’s springtime, and I knew it was bound to happen with all this warm weather we’ve been having. Today, I almost stepped on a...
COLUMN: Tickets
I know some of you are going to think I’m out of my mind, and maybe I am. I bought tickets to see the Rolling...
COLUMN: Grandparent’s names – they call you what?
From my personal perspective, one of the most wonderful things about having grandchildren (besides being able to give them back) is that we get...
COLUMN: Some assembly required
As we approach Christmas, I would like to send a heartfelt wish of good luck to all of you parents out there with young...
COLUMN: Comics – they ain’t funny!
It was a horrible, sickening phone call. Within a few seconds, my hopes and dreams were crushed like someone stepping on a Coke can....
COLUMN: Common scents
My wife Carol has been strongly suggesting (I call it nagging) that I visit my doctor and get the once over. I told her...
COLUMN: A slice full of memories
Decisions, decisions. What was I going to eat for supper? That’s always an important question for me, but today is a special day. Today...
COLUMN: Old theatre, old memories
I recently went to see singer Jackson Browne perform at the Alabama Theatre in downtown Birmingham, and a curious thing happened. After the first...
COLUMN: Say it ain’t so, Tony!
Oh, my Lord. I didn’t want to believe a link a friend just sent me. There is a new flavor of Skittles candy -...
COLUMN: Celebrating in the Wundergarten – The Rock the South Rock Garden
Shane Quick is a “Home County Hero” of mine. The modern-day trinity of Frank Stitt, the James Beard Award-winning, celebrity chef/founder of Highlands Bar...
COLUMN: Celebrating in the Wundergarten – Grandfather Pine and Grandmother Magnolia
BRING YOUR GRANDMA to SEE “THE GRANDMOTHER MAGNOLIA” and BRING YOUR GRANDPA to see “THE GRANDFATHER PINE” at the Sportsman Lake Park TREE MUSEUM—FREE...
COLUMN: Celebrating in the Wundergarten – Cultivate Cullman
CULTIVATE CULLMAN: The Countywide Arts & Gardening Celebration, which includes “Culinary Cullman” and musicians with Cullman County roots, grew from a seed of an...
COLUMN: BBQ joints
I love me some BBQ. That’s because I’m Southern, and it’s the law. If you cut me, I will probably bleed smoky, sweet, red...
COLUMN: HGTV is BS
I’m not a handyman. I truly wish I was, but it’s just not in my DNA. I can’t make a straight cut on a...
COLUMN: The perfect gift – Thanks Harper Lee!
I just finished my annual reading of “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Wow. As long as I live, I will read this novel. And for...
COLUMN: Stop and smell the corn dogs!
I drove by our community ballpark the other day and saw that the All-Star baseball games were well underway. It’s hard to believe that...
COLUMN: Celebrating in the Wundergarten – Arts in the Garden
ARTS IN THE GARDEN is a new way to enjoy the natural beauty of Sportsman Lake, the 70-year old, Cullman County Parks and Recreation,...
COLUMN: Celebrating in the Wundergarten – Gardener roots
How do we thank those who have taken the raw, sandy soil of the Cullman countryside and turned it into an Eden? One hundred-fifty...
150 ways to celebrate the Cullman countryside on our 150th birthday
The 1870s founders of Cullman County in the “Hill Country” of north Alabama traditionally celebrated the area’s birth year as 1873. So, 2023 is...
COLUMN: Celebrating in the Wundergarten – Weathering storms
“Every storm, no matter how big and strong, passes eventually. Just know and remember that your spirit is much bigger and stronger than any...
COLUMN: Celebrating in the Wundergarten – Alabama folktales
The collector’s edition of “WUNDERGARTEN,” the folktale I set in 1870s Colonial Cullman, was birthed this week. (Signed copies available at Leldon’s in the...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. TEAS
TEA FOR TWO
Picture you upon my knee
Just tea for two
And two for tea
Just me for you
And you for me alone.
- Music by Vincent Youmans;...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. EXPLORERS
“The JOYrontologist” is saluting joy-seeking explorers this Columbus Day holiday. As we raise flutes of Prosecco and chow down on veal pizza (recipe below),...
52 ODES TO JOY: AUTUMN S.U.N.S.
ODE TO AUTUMN
Autumn days are here, blue sky clear and dear.
Let’s harvest a bushel of joy and fall cheer.
Our S.U.N.S. (Smile-Making, Uniting, Neighboring, Spellbinding)...
52 ODES TO JOY: MORE F-WORDS
F-WORDS ̶̶ there are so FLIPPIN’ many FANTASTICATIOUS ones! Here are a few more fun, FLAVORFUL faves after all of these from the former...
52 ODES OF JOY: THE F-WORDS
F-WORDS are not used frequently enough. At least that’s true for some F-WORDS. There are so many FABU F-WORDS, I’ve FINAGLED them into two...
52 ODES TO JOY: BRAND NEW, NOW YOU
ODE TO BRAND YOU
If you were a brand,
Would you be fresh and sweet as Krispy Kreme,
Or aged and mellow like a sip of Jim...
52 ODES TO JOY: BETTER WITH AGE
“Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be…”
- Robert Browning
“The JOYrontologist” recommends: If you only read one book about joyous aging in...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. SILLYASS FITNESS
ODE TO THE “E WORD”
Isn’t it a sweet surprise
That play is a workout in disguise.
Chic gym clothes can never glamorize
The boring drudge of exercise.
S.U.N.S....
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. SOLITUDE
ODE TO SOLITUDE
Solitude and loneliness
Are far from the same.
Solitude is exquisite pleasure;
Loneliness, excruciating pain.
My name is Ben and…I am a GREGARIOUS HERMIT. There, I’ve...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. JOY JAUNTS
For the last several years, I’ve enjoyed leading an April-in-Alabama history walking tour through Cullman. Like Martina McBride sang, “word gets around in a...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. QUEST
ODE TO A WORLD-CLASS QUEST
Today, I’m on a world-class quest for the ultimate food fest.
I started off so Hungary and thought to Czech my...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. DANCE
After turning 70 this year, I’m performing in my first, classical ballet. Seeing all those ballerinas on tiptoe, I’m wondering—why didn’t they just get...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. GIVING
“If you have no charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.”—Bob Hope
HILARITY FOR CHARITY is a perfect example of...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. DINERS
“When do we learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open 24 hours a day?”—Daniel Handler
American diners are the perfect...
52 ODES TO JOY: FUN FREEDOMS
Remember when America was all about freedom-loving fun and people fought for “The Right to Party?” Even in 1773 (evening of December 16), our...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. ZINE
ODE TO JOY-ZINES
A self-pub, a journal, a dream board, a zine;
All the positivity one might glean.
For you and by you,...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. DADS
ODE TO MY DAD
Dad, I’m glad you were one of my favorite parents,
Even though we disagreed about most sermons and nearly...
52 ODES TO JOY: THE 1-HOUR S.U.N.S. JOY LIFT
NEVER TRUST A GERONTOLOGIST UNDER 70! Please hear me saying that playfully. However, I’ve done my 70 years and spent much of it studying...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. SUMMER
ODE TO SUMMER
My longtime favorite season is summer.
Though fall, spring nor winter is a bummer.
At 70, this thought’s not a...
52 ODES TO JOY: YOUR HERO MEMO
AMERICAN HEROES by Cheryl Alexander
(American poet, Cheryl Alexander, about her ode to heroes: “This poem is dedicated to all the heroes in our...
52 ODES TO JOY: S.U.N.S. AGE JOY LIBRARY
I LOVE LIBRARIES and I have a dream of a beautiful, FREE, public one with happy colors, patron-selected seating, art murals, craft/study/activity areas, cubbies,...
52 ODES TO JOY: SIMPLICITY POSITIVITY
When I get the urge to purge,
I first put on some music.
A little more punk and a little less dirge,
Then...
52 ODES TO JOY: ZEST FOR ZZZ
ODE TO ZZZ
ZZZ are A-okay methinks,
Each regarded with great esteem.
A long sleep or just 40 winks,
To doze, perchance to...
52 ODES TO JOY: FLANEUR JOY
ODE TO WANDERLUST
I long to walk there, maybe there and then there.
More joy-filled I’ll return, you may surely trust.
In my...
52 ODES TO JOY: BLOOMIN’ JOY
ODE TO BLOOMING
Stealthily, they commanded the hill,
Though no cannons nor bombs were booming.
No movement detected, all seemed deadly still.
Then,...
52 ODES TO JOY: BEGIN AGAIN & AGAIN
ODE TO REINVENTING
Any given day can be a time to start over,
It just takes hard work, luck and good intention.
So,...
52 ODES TO JOY: YOU & JOY BIRDS
ODE TO JOY BIRDS
The singing kind are such joy birds,
One rarely hears a whiner.
Chirping, tweeting, hummingbirds
Make a fine day...
52 ODES TO JOY: FOUR, JOYFUL SEASONS
ODE TO FOUR, JOYFUL SEASONS
Spring is joyful, then there is also this,
Summer is such sunny bliss.
Autumn is a sweet molasses...
52 ODES TO JOY: THE FUN, S.U.N.S. USA PLANTRY
ODE TO A PLANTRY
Old Mother Gantry went to her pantry,
Looked angry, then trashed it all, blankly.
She restocked as a fun,...
