I wrote a song a couple of years ago that said, “I’m going to have a good day, anyway – no matter what comes my way.” I have tried to live by that declaration, but I have to tell you, last Monday tested the limits! What began with a frantic search for my cell phone ended with a bedtime fire alarm.
I have discovered that one of the great aggravations of senior adulthood is my amazing ability to misplace or lose things. I have heard it said, “Of all the things I’ve lost, I think I miss my mind the most.” One of the most common questions around our house is, “Have you seen my cell phone?” In the days when we only had land-line phones, we never had to worry about losing the phone. Since it was attached to the wall with a cord, it was virtually impossible. If we did lose the phone, that was a pretty good indication that we needed to do a better job of housekeeping! Some families even had a phone that hung on the wall. How convenient! It was always right there in the same spot. One cousin of mine had his personal phone directory right there beside his wall phone…written directly on the wall!
Last Monday, Jean and I were getting ready to go out of town for a couple of days. I spotted her cell phone on the end of the bathtub. Trying to be helpful (or perhaps being a wise guy) I said, “When you start looking for your phone, there it is.” About two minutes later, with a red face, I sheepishly asked, “Have you seen ‘my’ cell phone?” The search was on. She dialed my number, but all I heard was the sound of silence. I had made a quick trip to the store earlier that morning. So, I made another quick trip back to the same store, only to be disappointed. Then, Jean received a call from me, but not from me. She answered and said, “You found your phone,” only to hear a strange man’s voice say, “This is Jackson, I found ‘a’ phone…in the middle of the street beside Wendy’s.” Fortunately, like an adroit squirrel, it managed to not be flattened by a car tire. He left it at Wendy’s, and he left Wendy’s, before I could get there. Jackson, if by chance you read this, “Thank you!”
Later that day, Jean, me and my cell phone made it to our destination. I managed to make the trip, set up my instruments and sound system for a next-morning program, all without losing my phone again or my mind. I was exhausted when I finally settled down for a mid-summer’s sleep. We didn’t go to Six Flags, but we did stay at a Holiday Inn Express. About the time I dozed off, I was blasted back out of bed by blaring alarms. I thought Jean must have a new annoying ring tone on her phone. Then we realized it was coming from the hallway. Yes, it was the fire alarms. Everyone evacuated the building. There we were, standing in the hotel parking lot in the middle of the night, dressed in our pjs, with hair that had been combed…yesterday. Some had on little or nothing, some had on shoes, some had on socks and one ole boy had on his cowboy boots with gym shorts. It looked like a family reunion at Wal-Mart! It turned out to be a false alarm.
We went back inside and made ourselves a big glass of lemonade. You know what they say to do when life gives you lemons!
Bill King can be reached at bkpreach@yahoo.com or 334-728-5514 (office).
