CULLMAN, Ala. – A new grief support group, “Broken Parents: Healing Through the Loss of a Child,” will begin on Tuesday, Feb. 7, in Cullman. Organized by Brandie Johnson, the group will meet at the Cullman Area Chamber of Commerce from 6-8 p.m.
“I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic wondering if there was something more I could have done,” Michelle Moore bravely shared. “I replay every scenario in my head. If I hadn’t kicked him out, would he still be alive? If I hadn’t let him come home, would he still be alive? If I had sent him to different rehabs, if I hadn’t yelled, if I had yelled more, what could I have done differently so that he didn’t have to die?”
Moore tragically lost her son to alcohol addiction when he was only 28. Brendon was a bright, hardworking man who had a good job and friends, few of whom knew the extent of his progressive disease. But his mom did.
“It’s hard to catch my breath some days when the grief just comes in waves. I still go through the motions of life, but it feels like I’m living in a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. Every day is the same. I miss my boy. That’s the only thing I know for sure anymore.”
Moore’s heartache can only be understood by other mothers and fathers who have found themselves feeling the same incomparable pain in funeral homes as they make final arrangements for their own children. Those are the parents who are encouraged to attend this group.
In the 1969 book “On Death and Dying,” Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross proposed the “Five Stages of Grief.” The stages include:
Denial
- During a seeming state of shock, we are incapable of processing the pain associated with a traumatic event and totality of loss.
Anger
- A natural response to tragedy, anger is another stage in the grief process whether it’s anger at oneself, the situation, God, the deceased or others.
Bargaining
- Centering on regrets and remorse, bargaining often includes the questions Moore asked above, the “what if” and “if only.”
Depression
- Impacting every individual differently, depression hits when the loss begins to sink in and can feel like the pain will never end. Withdrawing from family and friends, lack of energy and feeling hopeless can be symptoms.
Acceptance
- Giving oneself permission to carry on with life and having a realistic outlook on the world which includes the loss comes with time. It’s not easy but it is necessary.
To reserve a seat at the grief support group, contact Brandie Johnson at 256-735-6833.
