365 AMERICAN JOY-GIVERS for 2021: The I Can Do Anything Better Birthday Party

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(Photo from chilledmagazine.com)

“Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you…No, you can’t…Yes, I can. No, you can’t. Yes, I can. No, you can’t! YES, I CAN! YES, I CAN!” 

“Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better)” is a show tune composed by the great songwriter, Irving Berlin, who we recently celebrated in this series on “American Joy-givers.” The song was an instant hit for the 1946 Broadway musical, “Annie Get Your Gun.” It is a duet with one singer attempting to outdo the other in increasingly complicated tasks. 

In the musical, “Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better)” sets the scene for the sharpshooting contest between Annie Oakley and her love interest/competitor, Frank Butler. 

JOIN US… 

You feel the joy as you stroll into The National Annie Oakley Center at Garst Museum in her hometown, Greenville, Ohio. This is our destination for “The I Can Do Anything Better Birthday Party.” You may be surprised to learn that Annie’s true personality was different from the stage and screen tomboy of “Annie Get Your Gun.” She was a petite lady who loved lace, fine silver, beautiful furnishings and elegant clothing. However, she was blessed with great athleticism and daring. She could do many things better than most. 

HOORAY FOR THE JOY-GIVERS! (Note: The comments attributed to these famous joy-givers come from words they have written or said.) 

PLEASE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THESE JOY-GIVERS CELEBRATING A BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK: 

Aug. 7—GARRISON KEILLOR can do prairie storytelling better than anyone. The author, storyteller, humorist, voice actor and media personality created the National Public Radio hit show, “Prairie Home Companion,” and hosted the weekly broadcasts for more than four decades. He is a Grammy winner, a Peabody Award winner and recipient of honors from both the American Academy of Arts and the National Endowment for the Humanities. In 2007, he was given the John Steinbeck Award which honors “the spirit of Steinbeck’s empathy, commitment to democratic values and belief in the dignity of the common man.” He was also inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame. 

Aug. 8—ESTHER WILLIAMS could do movie “aquamusicals” better than anyone. She was known as the “Million Dollar Mermaid” for a series of movies in the 1940s and early 1950s which featured elaborate performances with synchronized swimming and diving. She has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and was inducted into the International Swimming Hall of Fame. 

Aug. 9—BETTY BOOP can do cartoon flirtation better than anyone. She made her first appearance Aug. 9, 1930, in the animated cartoon, “Dizzy Dishes.” A caricature of the Jazz Age flapper, she was described as: “combining the childish with the sophisticated…a large, round babyface with big eyes and a button nose, framed with a careful coiffure and born to flirt.” Betty Boop was the creation of artist Max Fleischer, with other animators including Grim Natwick. She was featured in 90 theatrical cartoons between 1930 and 1939. 

Aug. 10—JIMMY DEAN could hawk sausage while singing country music better than anyone. The singer, television host, actor and businessman was a distant cousin of the actor, another American joy-giver, James Dean. Jimmy was the creator of the Jimmy Dean sausage brand, as well as the spokesman for its television commercials. He rose to fame for his rendition of the song, “Big Bad John.” His hit television variety show, “The Jimmy Dean Show,” gave Muppeteer Jim Henson his first national attention. Jimmy Dean acted the role of billionaire Willard Whyte in the “James Bond” movie “Diamonds Are Forever.” 

Aug. 11—HULK HOGAN could out-wrestle any other professional wrestler better than anyone. Hulk is the ring name of the athletic showman, Terry Eugene Bollea. He is the most recognized wrestler in the world. The World Wrestling Federation (WWF) credits Hulk Hogan with his heroic all-American persona for ushering in the 1980s professional wrestling boom. He headlined eight of the first nine editions of the WWF’s flagship annual events known as “Wrestlemania.” He is in the International Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame. 

Aug. 12—PETE SAMPRAS could win more tennis titles than anyone. The Greek American professional won 14 Grand Slams, 7 Wimbledons, 2 Australian Opens and 5 U.S. Opens. He won 64 singles titles in total. He is a right-handed player with a single-handed backhand. His precise and powerful serve earned him the nickname of “Pistol Pete.” He was inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame. 

Aug. 13—ANNIE OAKLEY could hit a bull’s-eye target better than anyone. She was the sharp-shooting star of “Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show,” and a genuine, bonafide American heroine. Ms. Oakley (born Phoebe Ann Mosey) developed her hunting skill to help feed her impoverished Ohio family. At 15, she won a shooting contest against celebrated marksman Frank E. Butler, who she later married. The wedded couple joined Buffalo Bill in 1885 and performed for U.S. Presidents and royals in Europe. Audiences were astounded to see her shooting a cigar from her husband’s lips or splitting a deck of playing-cards edge-on at 30 paces. Her stage acts were filmed by Thomas Edison. A stage musical, “Annie Get Your Gun” was based on her colonial life and was later made into a hit movie.  

COMMENTS OVERHEARD AT “THE I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER BIRTHDAY PARTY:” 

“That’s the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children are above average.”—Garrison Keillor 

“No one had ever done a swimming movie before, so we just made it up as we went along.”—Esther Williams 

“Today is a new day, so laugh at the past, live for today and look forward to the future.”—Betty Boop 

“You gotta try your luck at least once a day, because you could be going around lucky all day and not know it.”—Jimmy Dean 

“Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on your ass!”—Hulk Hogan 

“I let my racket do the talking. That’s what I am all about, really. I just go out and win tennis matches.”—Pete Sampras 

“I ain’t afraid to love a man. I ain’t afraid to shoot ‘em either.”—Annie Oakley 

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think sitting in a garage can make you a car.”—Garrison Keillor 

“I was all in gold sequins for ‘Million Dollar Mermaid’—50 feet in the air.”—Esther Williams 

“Always make time to make some sweet music with your sweetie pie.”—Betty Boop 

“I went further on less talent than anyone, but I was a damned good entertainer.”—Jimmy Dean 

“I love to give the fans what they want. They’re what I miss most when I’m not wrestling. That time in the ring is like being in heaven for me.”—Hulk Hogan 

“It’s one-on-one out there. There ain’t no hiding. I can’t pass the ball.”—Pete Sampras 

“I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies.”—Annie Oakley 

“I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.”—Garrison Keillor 

“The wisdom acquired with the passage of time is useless unless you share it.”—Esther Williams 

“There are plenty of fish in the sea. Be sure you hook the right one.”—Betty Boop 

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”—Jimmy Dean 

“Wrestlers are the greatest athletes in the world without a doubt.”—Hulk Hogan 

“A champion is supposed to hate to lose, and it wasn’t like I was ever crazy about the idea.”—Pete Sampras 

“I hate to lose, and I do whatever I can to win and it it’s ugly, it’s ugly.”—Pete Sampras 

“God intended for women to be outside as well as men, and they don’t know what they are missing when they stay cooped up in the house.”—Annie Oakley 

“The most un-American thing you can say is, ‘You can’t say that.’”—Garrison Keillor 

“She was barely a teenager, when I worked with Elizabeth Taylor, but she was already more beautiful and more voluptuous than Miss America…With that superstructure of hers, she floated just fine. What she couldn’t do was sink.”—Esther Williams 

“To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”—Betty Boop 

“Being a Baptist won’t keep you from sinning, but it’ll sure as hell keep you from enjoying it.”—Jimmy Dean 

“Wrestling needs to be about the art form, again. It needs to be about painting a picture and having a really good match.”—Hulk Hogan 

“I didn’t have a big fat Greek wedding, but I have a lot of fat Greek friends.”—Pete Sampras 

“Aim for the high mark and you will hit it. No, not the first time, not the second time and maybe not the third. But keep on aiming and keep on shooting for only practice will make you perfect. Finally, you’ll hit the bull’s-eye of success.”—Annie Oakley 

“Sex is good, but not as good as sweet corn.”—Garrison Keillor 

“It appeared as if I had invited the audience into the water with me, and it conveyed the sensation that being there was absolutely delicious.”—Esther Williams 

“Don’t let a day sail by without giving someone your sweet hugging.”—Betty Boop 

“When I was a kid, I used to think, ‘Man, if I could afford all the ice cream I want to eat, that’s as rich as I ever want to be.”—Jimmy Dean 

“Train. Say your prayers. Eat your vitamins.”—Hulk Hogan 

THE MENU FOR “THE I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER BIRTHDAY PARTY:” 

APPETIZER—Esther Williams Poolside Fruit Dip (thecreativebite.com) 

SALAD—Pete Sampras Greek Island (allrecipes.com) 

ENTRÉE—Hulk Hogan Open-Faced Hoagies (cooks.com) 

SIDE DISH—Jimmy Dean Sausage and Spinach Risotto (yummly.com) 

BREAD—Garrison Keillor Powdermilk Biscuits (foodnetwork.com) 

BEVERAGE—Betty Boop Blackberry Cocktails (see below) 

DESSERT—Annie Oakley Bull’s-Eye Cookies (marthastewart.com) 

ONE TO GROW ON—“WHO WAS ANNIE OAKLEY?” is part of the “Who Was” biography series aimed at the 8-12 year old crowd. There are 195 books in this new-ish series at just $3.99 per bio. How about sharing your enthusiasm for other American joy-givers: Sacagawea? Albert Einstein? Benjamin Franklin? Helen Keller? Mark Twain?… 

For entertainment at “The I Can Do Anything Better Birthday Party,” Jimmy Dean hosted a variety show interviewing each of the attendees. Garrison Keillor told some fun stories set in the fictional town, Lake Woebegon, which he created, and the radio storyteller shared some favorite jokes from “A PRARIE HOME COMPANION: PRETTY GOOD JOKE BOOK,” including this one: 

“A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his hand out the window to check. Just as he did this, a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from and saw a young woman looking down from an upstairs window. ’Is this yours?’ he asked…She said, “Yes, could you bring it up?”…When he got to her apartment, he found she was extremely attractive, and she offered him a drink. After they’d finished their drinks, she said, “I’ve had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?” The man hesitated, then said, “Wow, do you act like this with every man you meet?”…”No,” she replied, “only those who catch my eye.” 

Annie Oakley thanked everyone for coming to Ohio and the museum, then she started the singing of “Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better)” with this new lyric: “Any party you can host, I can host happier.” Esther Williams sang, “Any pool you can swim, I can swim lovelier.” Hulk Hogan sang, “Any hold you can make, I can make stronger.” Betty Boop sang, “Any sugar you can give, I can give sweeter.” Jimmy Dean sang, “Any sausage you can fry, I can fry tastier.” Garrison Keillor sang, “Any story you can tell, I can tell funnier.” Pete Sampras sang, “Any serve you can serve, I can serve faster.” And, these American joy-givers all joined in a hardy chorus affirming each other: YES, YOU CAN! YES, YOU CAN!! YES, YOU CAN!!! 

                                           BETTY BOOP BLACKBERRY COCKTAIL 

                                               (source: chilledmagazine.com) 

INGREDIENTS 

2 ounces gin 

½ ounce elderflower liqueur 

½ ounce simple syrup 

4 blackberries 

1 raspberry 

INSTRUCTIONS 

Muddle 2 blackberries and 1 raspberry. Add ice, shake and double strain into a Martini glass. Garnish with 2 blackberries on a spike. 

Copyright 2021 Humble Roots, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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Ben South