Uh oh. Only five minutes before kickoff, and I’ve got things to do. Quickly I round up both my dogs and pet them seven times each – the last stroke from the tip of their nose to the end of their tail. Then I run to my drawer and put on my Alabama T-shirt that came from the holy city of Jerusalem. Now and only now can I sit down in my special chair and watch the game knowing I have done all I can do to help my team. I suppose some people would call me superstitious, but I prefer to say I’m making sure all of my pregame rituals are completed.
Who am I kidding? It is superstition. And it’s something that’s interwoven into the fabric of every sport we watch, especially college football.
For me, it began when I was in college. I went to my first bowl game when I was a sophomore, and believe me, it was a big one. The 1973 Sugar Bowl between Alabama and Notre Dame was going to decide the national championship. My fraternity brothers and I were in the stands where the beer was flowing freely – it was New Orleans for goodness sake. One of my brothers, Hank, was imbibing from the opening kickoff. Soon he realized that every time he went to the bathroom, Alabama did something good.
Near the game’s end, Bama was trailing by a point when a perfect punt pinned the Irish down on their 1-yard line. If we could hold them, we would get the ball back with plenty of time to kick a game-winning field goal. It finally came down to one play – third-and-10. Hank’s bladder was exploding, but he chose to stay in his seat – and watched in horror as Notre Dame completed a long pass for a first down, ran out the clock, and won the championship.
To this day, Hank believes that if he had only gone to pee, Alabama would’ve won the game. I wholeheartedly agree. What other logical explanation is there?
By the way, Hank and I are not alone. Recent research found that two out of three of sports fans are superstitious when it comes to game day.
Apparently people aren’t taking any chances when it comes to helping their team. Fifty percent of the fans surveyed say they wear a specific shirt or jersey during the game, and 44% don’t wash it until the season is over. So that means when the last game of the season is being played, 44% of fans are probably watching it alone.
There’s more: 43% sit in the same spot every game, and a whopping 62% have blamed themselves for their team’s loss because they weren’t wearing the right shirt or sitting in the right place. There was no survey done about going to pee, but I personally know that one is true.
On this particular Saturday, Alabama was playing badly and all my good luck charms weren’t helping. They fell behind early, and looked terrible on both sides of the ball. It was one of their worst performances in years. As they fell further behind, my anger grew. In fact, before the end of the half, I took off my Alabama T-shirt, then grabbed two leashes, and decided to take my dogs for a walk. There was no reason to torture myself by watching the rest of this garbage.
I timed the walk perfectly, stepping back in the house early in the fourth quarter. That’s when I discovered that Alabama made a furious comeback and was actually leading the game. They ended up winning handily.
What happened? Before I walked out the door with my dogs, I had angrily thrown my special Alabama T-shirt on the floor right in front of the television. I was sure it wasn’t close enough to the TV to work its magic without me. That’s just common sense. So, I sat down and pondered this incredible turn of events.
When I went to church the next day, one of my friends walked up to me and said soberly, “I almost screwed up yesterday. I didn’t wear my lucky red shirt until the start of the third quarter.”
I nodded, but deep inside, I thought, “That’s so ridiculous. Everybody knows we won because I went outside to walk my dogs.”
That’s just common sense.
Joe Hobby is a barbecue-loving comedian from Alabama who wrote for Jay Leno for many years. Find more of Joe’s stories on his blog at mylifeasahobby.blogspot.com. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/JoeHobbyComedian.
